Films based on 1980’s toys are still churned out for the nostalgia kick and with the success of the critically panned original G.I. Joe film (Rise Of Cobra), a sequel was inevitable. But you know what – it was fun. Albeit a bit campy but pretty entertaining. For once in awhile I was looking forward to the sequel, Retaliation, with bigger name actors and a progression of interesting concepts from the original.
Then I actually saw it…
After successfully capturing the leaders of Cobra (a ruthless terrorist organisation) in the last film, America’s premier anti-terrorism unit G.I. Joe ends up being betrayed by a doppelganger President. Now led by Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson, Fast 5), the remaining Joes must gather themselves together, compose and take down a Cobra controlled chief of staff quickly and efficiently. They’ll be backed up by a sympathetic and betrayed ex-Cobra ninja in Storm Shadow (Lee Byung-hun, The Good, The Bad, The Weird), whose after the man that killed his sensai.
With a ridiculously high overhaul of the cast from the first movie, there’s next to little continuity. Channing Tatum of Magic Mike returns in a short role as the leader of the Joes, Duke, only to exit proceedings quickly. Stunt and martial arts specialist Ray Park (Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace) is back too as Snake Eyes but there’s no inkling of the natural charisma he possessed in the original. He managed to do so much as the voiceless man in a full body suit, here he’s practically anonymous. Jonathan Pryce (Pirates Of The Caribbean trilogy) is sort of entertaining in his dual expanded roles as the captured President and a shape shifting doppelganger of himself.
Oddly enough, the bulk of a protagonist role is placed on turncoat Storm Shadow. In a bid to have some resolution and drama, we’re introduced in the second half to how he was framed for his master’s murder, thus setting up his rivalry with Snake Eyes, and his hunt for the member of Cobra responsible. Completely out of nowhere, all this is shoved on Byung-hun who doesn’t have the sort of charisma to carry or save this part of the film. He’s decent enough as the silent assassin but not as the main man to save the world.
Admittedly, the new recruits give the G.I. Joe franchise some much needed firepower. Bruce Willis (A Good Day To Die Hard) looks interested for once in a comedy clown shoes role as the ‘original Joe’/founder of the group, despite his involvement being limited to five minutes tops. Johnson is disappointing but then the script doesn’t give him much to work with. He has bits of charisma when he’s with Tatum at the start of the movie. However, he doesn’t really draw in with action sequences he leads up either. Could have been more of a break out role for the former Rock if he was given better material.
The other new recruits are D.J. Cotrona (Detroit 1-8-7) as Flint and Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) as the real life Lady Jaye. Neither are really notable. Palicki is a copy/paste of the Scarlett character from Rise Of Cobra and Flint does nothing the whole movie. Better off was Ray Stevenson (Dexter) as villain Firefly. With a cool remote bomb robot flies gimmick, he’s certainly the most memorable of the villains. He even holds off Johnson in a decent final encounter at the end, making Stevenson not quite look like a million dollars but more than the change in your wallet.
The worst thing about this movie straight off the bat is that there’s no emotional connection to actions on screen. Not that I expect it in great detail in a film like Retaliation, but London gets blown up by a Cobra rocket satellite and the Prime Minister of the UK doesn’t bat an eyelid! All he does is ramble down the phone at someone in a posh tone straight after it. Surely the man would be stunned, speechless, in tears at what’s just happened to his homeland?
That’s just the tip of the iceberg from some rather shitty directing. Jon M. Chu is a director mainly known for filming big screen productions of Justin Bieber concerts and the Step Up series – what the hell is he doing on an action film like this? The man has no prior experience on delivering a big screen spectacle G.I. Joe: Retaliation NEEDS to be. Murky plot movements and a lack of tension are part and parcel of what Chu offers. He has a half decent cast at his disposal and wastes it. Stephens Sommers who did the capable first movie has a bumpy track record but he did do The Mummy which holds up even today. Why he got shafted I don’t know.
There’s one scene Chu gets right for an action movie. Snake Eyes and a useless sidekick scale up a mountain to kidnap a healing Storm Shadow from a Cobra hideout. What follow next is a completely breathtaking ninja fight on the side of a mountain with anchor ropes swinging from one side to the other, with various pulley ropes rides downhill over ravines and the like. The rest of the film’s cinematography and chorerography are sketchy are best, but this wonderful slab of entertainment as a setpiece and the defining moment is superb.
What worries me is that Retaliation opening five minutes sets up many subplots within the Joes team reasonably. Roadblock reluctant to become a leader, Flint as a wildcard who doesn’t follow orders etc. Basically, we get a peek into their characteristics and it’s an okay job at introducing these new characters… they don’t get mentioned again for the rest of the movie. There are inklings of interest to build the film around – Roadblock struggling with leadership for example – only for them to never come into play again, due to the poor direction and script.
The pacing did my head in. Cobra as a group do absolutely nothing for the first hour and a bit. All of a sudden with the run time coming down, they have their space rocket satellites fully operational, ready to fire. Their master plan with the president is always there but the endgame is never mentioned until a good 10-15 minutes right before the credits roll. This doesn’t really make the end fight scenes mean much since they’re tacked on with no emotional depth or any meaning. It should come across akin to Empire Strikes Back with the good guys winning but feeling like losers since Cobra do cause some death and destruction. They even accomplish their goals for god’s sake!
I never really had any connection to the G.I. Joe toys or cartoons as a kid but it’s a mixed bag for fans of the franchise. Cobra Commander is in full on costume and mask unlike his half-mask look from Rise Of Cobra. They have tanks in from the toyline and cartoons and their rocket satellite is something not unlike the various doomsday weapons from the show. I can’t say the same for the Joes. In the first, they were in bodysuits, had all the cool hardware and technology and all came across as individuals. In Retaliation, this massive anti-terrorism, worldwide unit is shrunk down to about 20 hoo-rah U.S. marines in the same camouflage gear and don’t have any specific skills. There’s no brains of the unit or anything like that. The only one you can tag is Lady Jaye. Because she’s a girl. Yup, that’s it.
I feel like a girl that’s been going out with a guy for his goofy but fun personality but all of a sudden he’s changed overnight after hanging out with new friends and stopped caring about me. A crap, out of place director ruins any sense of fun in proceedings of the G.I. Joe franchise. Retaliation has no depth and acts like a broken toy with malfunction noises and bleeps – meant to entertain but fails miserably. Avoid (but Youtube that ninja mountain clip if you can).
Terry Lewis – @thatterrylewis.
