Whenever anyone utters the phrase “it’s a Dolph Lundgren movie” your heart either sinks, or is lifted with nostalgic hope, and the realisation that this film could be a no-brained action movie that’s just a bit of fun, and it’s no different with the latest Dolph Lundgren movie Stash House; a no-brained action movie that promises Dolph Lundgren, action, and not all that much else.
Resting on a sound premise, Stash House sees a couple planning to spend the night at the fancy house they’re about to buy, only to end up living a nightmare when they find out their dream house happens to contain a boat-load of drugs, and a couple of gun-toting gangsters (including Expendables 2 star Dolph Lundgren) come to recover their goods.
So in essence, Stash House is a low-rent Panic Room; except it’s not Panic Room, it’s Panic House; because the couple (who’re played by the similarly low-rent Sean Faris and Briana Evigan) barricade themselves inside the bulletproof, shutter-protected, fortress that is the stash house, along with everything the bad guys are after, and try to stave off the siege as long as they can in order to simply stay alive.
What follows is a number of fairly implausible, flat, and rather un-tense (despite the intention) ways in which the dull couple try to escape, and Dolph and his henchman try to break in and recover their goods (which it turns out, in a ‘surprise’ twist, is more than just the drugs), but unfortunately, while Panic Room may have grabbed the attention of everyone watching, and stayed both gripping and intense throughout, Stash House does neither; it’s a generic play-by-play movie that allows you to easily nod off for a bit and not miss a thing.
Sean Faris (Never Back Down) and Briana Evigan (Burning Bright) are both wooden and utterly replaceable, but in the end people only watch a Dolph Lundgren movie for two things. Dolph (who’s as good as usual, but possibly a little under used here and not given enough to do action-wise), and the action; which is sadly lacking here, until the surprisingly gripping and impressive conclusion (which does actually manage to ramp up the tension and thankfully elevates the entire film to a mildly enjoyable affair).
So despite the poor dialogue, unimaginative direction, wooden actors, a generic play-by-play plot, lack of action, and the fact the whole thing is a clear, unabashed, rip-off of Panic Room, Stash House is till worth a watch; it’s not the best Dolph Lundgren movie out there, but it’s easy to watch, engaging enough, has a solid conclusion, is a damn sight better than In The Name of the King 2, and shouldn’t disappoint any true Dolph fan. Still if you’re after a better Dolph Lundgren movie you should either stick with the classics (Universal Soldier, Masters of the Universe, or The Punisher), or wait for the Blu-ray and DVD release of the brilliant Expendables 2.
